Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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