I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
