Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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