It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
