I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
