She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize