Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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