He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
