i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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