I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
My ATM looks so different sober.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
