turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
