Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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