Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
