dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
