Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
