P.S. I can't hear my feet
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
