Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize