Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
