my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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