yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize