Fuck appropriateness.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
