My friends, they love my intelligence
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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