We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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