i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
