i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
