Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
