didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
