I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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