Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
