So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you would pick up someone in the library
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
