we have officially lost it.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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