I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
