Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
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