My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
