look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
