She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
