I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
