Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize