wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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