if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We had sex on a dog bed..
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
