Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
