She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
organizing the empties. That sober.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
