toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize