not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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