in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
