Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
