I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
