I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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