I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
