did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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