she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
