went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
