i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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