She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
