Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
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