He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
