It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
