remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
