More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
