i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
