i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize