I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
