new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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