Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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