Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
