It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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