you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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