My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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