I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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