I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
